Thursday, February 2, 2012

Writing Sample: "The Hit"


Since my last writing sample post was so short, I thought I'd give you another sample of the same "10x10" story concept.

This idea essentially comes from Angel Zapata's 5x5 Fiction site, but expanded to 10x10 using the 10 prompt words from the Creative Copy Challenge.  I create 10 sentences of 10 words each, with the first prompt word used as the first word in the first sentence, the second prompt word the second word in the second sentence, and so forth.  I also consider hyphenated words as just a single word in the ten word sentence.  Maybe this is cheating a little, but what the heck -- it's my rules, so I hereby decree it as copacetic if a word has a single hyphen in it.

The prompt words at the CC today were:


  1. Badass
  2. Fear
  3. Uncertainty
  4. Excuses
  5. Linchpin
  6. Limitations
  7. Resistance
  8. Defy
  9. Bullshit
  10. Huge-ass latte

OK, the last "word" is really two, including one that's hyphenated.  So I'm calling it two words out of the ten in the last sentence... Anyway, using this list, I came up with:


 "The Hit"

"Bad-Ass!" Tony voiced his awe at the sprawling high-rise apartment.

No fear in the kid, thought Vic. Just blatant cockiness.

No cautious uncertainty; nothing but bluster and bravado. Vic sighed.

He'd make no excuses -- the boss wanted Tony brought along.

A once trusted inner linchpin had turned, betraying the family.

Vic's mission was clear: No limitations in silencing the traitor.

So whatever it took, whatever the resistance, Vic would succeed,

and Tony could watch and learn:  Don't defy the boss.

They found the traitor in the shower. The bullshit done,

Vic sighed when Tony said, "Let's get a huge-ass latte!"


So what do you think?

4 comments:

DL Hammons said...

Great...now I'm craving a HUGE-ASS LATTE! :)

Chris Fries said...

LOL! I'll gladly buy you one, my friend!

Thanks for the comment, Don!

Milo James Fowler said...

I enjoyed the voice in this one, Chris -- and glad you're back!

Chris Fries said...

Thanks Milo! I really appreciate the kind words!